Zoe is completely and utterly obsessed with all things feline. So, a few months back when we saw a preview for Disneynature's Earth Day 2011 movie African Cats, I made a mental note to take the kids to see it on opening day. Thankfully, Zoe has a much better memory than I do and reminded me on Wednesday that the movie opened today.
When we got to the theater, Zach threw a fit that we weren't going to see "Hop," the semi-animated movie about a rabbit that poops jellybeans. I told him, while we were in line for popcorn, that the movie looked cheesy and I wasn't spending money to see it and that he can wait until it comes out on video in a month. Of course, the Gucci (?) purse wielding woman behind me in line with her 3 kids (all girls, all under the age of 10, all wearing name-brand Uggs and iCarly/ Hannah Montana/ insert your over-marketed, untalented teen of choice here t-shirts) heard me and said very loudly to her little marketing tools, "Girls, aren't you SO EXCITED to see Hop? It's such a great movie to see right before Easter!" I ignored it, but made sure to take a LITTLE too long to order when we got up to the counter.
Back to African Cats. Visually, the movie was very good. The aerial shots of the African savannah in Kenya were breathtaking. The animals were beautiful and made me hate zoos again.
But the focus of the movie was "cats," namely lions and cheetahs. The male lions were a main focus of the movie and the cinematographers insisted on filming countless scenes of said lions walking away from something, thus their enormous balls filled the screen. Every time one of those shots appeared, I prayed to GOD that neither one of my kids (Zoe, mainly) asked me what they were. It really was incredibly distracting but, considering Disney's sordid past of subliminal messages, I shouldn't have been surprised.
The movie was only 90 minutes, but of course Zach fell asleep during the last 20. I hope there wasn't a movie in our theater right afterwards because he did a good job soaking the back of the seat in drool. I am considering not making dinner because we ate our weight in popcorn and Sour Patch Kids, but being the Nutrition Nazi that I am, I will likely give the kids something with spinach and Omega-3s to compensate for the shit they ate earlier.
Side note: I have to say that some of the shopping areas near our house (movie theater included) have taken a sudden sharp turn into the ghetto. I had to run into the grocery store after the movie and I saw more gold teeth, mullets and acid wash than I cared to. Even Target is a little shady. The last time I went there, my cashier was yelling at the cashier one aisle over about the fact that she (my cashier) was no longer her (other cashier) home girl. I guess if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Next time I am at the store I will fill my cart with Doritos, dog food and lacy underwear and talk on my cell phone while ignoring my kids.
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