Dads: The Original Hipsters
Some of my favorite photos and quotes:
"Your dad wore tube socks before you did. The skinny jeans of summer, your dad’s socks were tight, tall and always on him, just like your mom. He rocked mid leg tan lines like a boss and made fun of the kids who’s socks only reached their ankles. So hipsters, next time you’re pulling on a pair of baseball socks and donning a sweatband before packing up and heading off for a day in Dolores Park, remember this… Your dad was the king of summer and tube socks were his crown."
"Your dad played guitar before you did. He was a garage god, ripping power chords and blasting solos out of his Marshall half stack. His amp didn’t go up to 11, it went up to panty dropper and he would blast his notes into your mom’s lady bits.
So hipsters, next time you’re trying to learn Elliot Smith’s Needle in the Hay or some shitty Vampire Weekend song that your girlfriend heard in a Toyota commercial…remember this, your mom was your dad’s groupie because he crushed it on the guitar."
"Your dad drank coffee before you did. He has been drinking since before Starbucks was a small Seattle coffee shop and long before you stopped drinking Starbucks because it was “too mainstream.” His cups were strong, each sip was an eye jolting, bitch slap to drowsy that firmly signified work was about to begin.
You hipsters couldn’t sip from the same mug as your father.
Your coffee is sweetened with unrefined sugar from a fair trade farm in small town South America where the workers are paid a living wage. His was black. You top off your lattes with a non-fat, non-dairy, soy, vegan foam. Your dad doesn’t know what a fucking latte is, nor does he give a shit to find out. He drank coffee to wake up, not so he could have a free place to steal internet while bitching about all the political change that needs to happen. So hipsters, next time you want to be a perennial bad-ass, reach for some Folgers and harden the fuck up."
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